Yes, she is still pregnant. 40 weeks and the baby is staying put like a stubborn squatter.
She has had her unfriendly visitor named anxiety, uncertainty and depression visit before but this felt a little different. There is more of a struggle and awareness to want to keep it out. Is she being protective of the little squatter? Was that even possible? Even with a good kind man beside her, she feels a little lost in all of this and simply sad. What is this? Why is this? She is always talking to the divine. But now she feels guilty for not being infinitely happy and nothing but positive for such a gift. What if she didn’t get this gift she thinks with gratitude. Should she pray longer? Oh dear. She hopes the baby does not feel any bit of this-she fears. She wants only one thing for her baby. Good health. A happy healthy mind and body, wait is that two things?
Tiered, achy and belly filled. With all the people asking her “how is the baby? Are you still pregnant? Omg, what do you do all day…don’t you get bored?” Frankly, she thinks, should not have told anyone the due date. Kept it all a secret. Stayed coped up antisocial till it all came to be. But that is wrong…isn’t it?
Letter from a close friend: ❤
Get up and go out there. It is the last few days of you being in this state. Live and feel every moment of it. Don’t care that your closet says, “what would you have to stress about?” Or whatever else they may say. It is how YOU feel. Understand it and deal with the emotions. You have you! You do not need anyone else if it comes down to it.
You do love this squatter, you will love it even more when it comes to your physical reality. Don’t listen to people. This will be yours. Yours to teach, show this beautiful world off to, read and tell fun adventure stories to. Remember the world always thinks and firmly believes it knows and does better. You just do your best and the rest it will all fall into place.
Don’t feel alone. You have him. He is always here with you. Wasn’t he there when you first found yourself broken and lost? Why would he leave now when he has opened a brand new door of crazy adventures and beautiful smile to come. He’s here. I know you believe. For now just breath and wait and see. Patience is a virtue and it can cut deep, but that is what life is all about. How else will you really see the preciousness of such a gift? Do not let this slip by. Be present for all of it. Just look at how you made space in your mind, heart, body and home. It is very special. You will love it! Love every moment of it. I promise my dear dear friend.
With lots of love.